cooking, seeing and thinking

Hi Everyone,

First of all, thanks soooo much for the birthday wishes :) Really appreciated them! My day went fairly went. During the day I was at office, but in the evening, Shirin (my supervisor) and I cooked (more like Shirin cooked and I assisted) in making dinner for all of us as Mervyn came over for dinner. It was a lovely feast! And I did made some parathas (different type of bread). Believe it or not, I think I am actually getting better at it. I have been cooking more frequently, and I really hope that by the end of this internship, I can cook at least one entire meal from scratch alone. I am pretty sure that will happen.

Yesterday was Sunday and the day went well. We woke up late, and then started cooking lunch as Mervyn was coming over for lunch. Again, an elaborate meal, which tasted sooooo gooooodd!! We finished lunch by around 3.30 and then got ready and took a bus to Somnath. There is a temple there and a beach there. To get to Somnath, we have to go through this town called Veraval, it's a port town where the people's primary income is through fishing. And holy jeebus, just riding past that town and really, you smell that extremely peculiar and sometimes intolerable fishy smell. I couldn't believe how the people there could get desensitize to it, as it is everywhere! But what amazed me even more were the people who actually do this work and I would imagine that their entire bodies can become consumed by that smell. Nonetheless, by the time we got to Somnath, it was 6.00. We made it just in time for sunset. I was sooo excited to see the ocean after a hiatus of almost 2 months. we ddin't even go in the temple, though it looked pretty good from the outside. I was a lot more satisfied by the ocean around me.

Indian beaches are a different experience all together. The water is warm!! There are camels, horses, dogs, cows, sometimes even donkeys roaming around. Street vendors selling all kinds of awesome awesome food everywhere and lots of people. But you know what? I loved it. If only Victoria beaches were like this, it would be perfect! :p When we first got on the beach, we bought coconuts and drank the coconut water. These are giant green local coconuts and we slash them open from the top, and a put a straw in it and start drinking that awesome awesome water. Coconut water is supposed to really healthy for you, and its amazing, the amount of water that is in these cocounts. Anyway, that was lovely. Then, we went and sat down and I started clicking some pics. I really wanted to ride a camel, so convinced Shirin to get on a camel with me. The ride was short, but it was soooo lovely! The camels were lovelily decorated :p Then, we came back and sat down again and Mervyn got some freshly roasted peanuts. By that time, it was dark and the stars came out. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... The waves were rolling in, the stars were out, the fish boats lights were tinkling off in the distance, and the three of us were sitting on nice cool sand eating roasted peanuts and just hanging. It was really lovely. In a bit, we had to leave as our bus was leaving. However before leaving, we managed to eat some ice cream as well :P I have been consuming soooo much ice cream here. But seriously, even the best of brands there DO NOT compare to the classic Vadilal and Amul ice cream here. they are just asdjfklsdjfklsdjfklsjdflksjd!!! Eating these ice creams is truly something that can improve your mood 100% (badly phrased sentence I know, bah english getting worse already!)

Nonetheless, it is such positive experiences that has started me thinking on my connection with Inda. Perhaps I am going through my own little honeymoon phase with India. My experiences have been positive so far, and I am seeing a whole other side of my own country that I had never seen before. I am getting to see a different side of India that I had only seen in movies and would always consider it suspiciously. However, seeing that myself, and living in this environment has made me want to at least ponder about the question: what would my life be like here? Can I live in India in my future? Can I start a career here? "Can I settle down here?" I already know that if I choose to continue living in Canada, I will have a very comfortable life. I will have a reliable future, and i will be in my comfort zone. If I continue down this career path, a Phd is inevitable, and maybe a professor job. It's a life that I can visualize, a life of comfort and ease for the most part. When I start to imagine what would a life be like here in India, the image is very hazy, extremely hazy and cloudy. But at this moment, it's a feeling I get. A "what if..." That's all. Perhaps it's just a phase and over the next few months, I might have some experiences that may make me want to change my mind entirely and never want to come back or realize that Canada is where I want to be. But in the meanwhile, I am wondering....

Also, on a completely different note, I have started seeing some bad dreams again. I hadn't seen a bad dream for a long long time. For those unaware, I am a vivid dreamer, and I usually see negative dreams related to myself and death, destruction, drowning, so on and so forth. However, over this month, those dreams had stopped, until last night that is. They started up again and caught me off guard. Not sure why that is. I won't exactly go in the details of what I saw as it might disturb some of you, but I had become something in it that terrified me. I was glad to be woken up. Not sure why these dreams are coming back, but I hope they stop.

Anyway, today has been a long entry but I hadn't written in a while and wanted to catch up. Hope you are all well! And I tried really hard to post up 2 more pics but it's just not going through. So Will try to post them up soon!! Meanwhile, enjoy this one!

a few pics

Here's your glance at my bare bare room. But it seems to be sufficient for me. It consists of one mattress, one small table, one closet and a ceiling fan. HUrrah for basic necessities. Speaking of other sorts of necessities, on top of the table are a few pic frames, the books that keep me entertained in my free time, my phone (truly my lifeline here), and even more importantly, my giant cup of tea.Also, that's the view out of the balcony in my room. I barely use it as I end up looking at a barren ground or into other people's homes, not interested. Nonetheless for a added bonus, I threw in a photo of mine for free!! :P I know bad joke, but I thought well, no one else is going to click my pic here, so I might as well do that. Enjoy!

am back!

Hi all,
Back after a week long hiatus. Had disappeared in Ahmedabad for 5 days and it was sooooo lovely. I managed to do everything that I had hoped to do and more and am really glad I went. I managed to celebrate the last day of Navratri, and was out till 5 in the morning :D!~!! Just getting ready took me and Komal (my best friend) about an hour and a half, we left the home at about 10.40 pm, reached the YMCA ground at about 11.20 pm and danced there till about 12.30 am. Imagine a very very big ground filled with literally thousands of people dressed up in traditional gujarati outfits dancing away like madness, live cameras, a band on stage with singers and big stadium lights. It was a fun experience, a very short but fun experience nonetheless. At 12.30 once the dance was over, I went out with my friends to just eat food, drink 3 cups of kadak chai (courtesy mitesh) and roam around the streets of Ahmedabad at night in a car with windows rolled down and music blazing away. It was so lovely! I have come to realize just how much I absolutely love Ahmedabad nights. You ride on a motorbike or a scooter or an active or any two wheeler after 8 pm, and that wind is just amazing. All my memories involving riding along at night on a bike (without a helmet) have been yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy. It leaves me wanting more everytime.
Anyway, over the 5 days, I managed to see two movies, celebrate the last night of Navratri, spend more time with two really lovely friends, buy my big giant tea cup (finally!!), ride around on motorbikes, eat a lot of really really good food, watch a few movies and just have a great time in general.
Now I am back and must get back to work. On the plus point, my room is all set now and functional. Yesterday after work, I went to the market and bought a ceiling fan, a closet, a mattress, a bulb (and no, i didn’t fuse it up this time, i just got the electrician to plug it in :P) and a small table, oh and a bedsheet. I will be posting up the pics of my room soon enough, it’s really bare right now, but still will post up some to give you a glimpse into my home sweet home here in Keshod.
Yesterday something really interesting happened when I had gone to a store to shop for mattress. I was trying to bargain with the guy, and he said that he takes pride in giving the right price to every customer. He said, “last year a few girls from Canada came and I also gave them the same price”, implying he couldn’t tell that I too was technically one of those girls. Him believing that I am infact from here made me so happy. I mean, yes I know technically I am from here, but for years I have felt that people in Canada think I am too brown to be white and people in India think that I am too white to be brown. So it was a really happy thing for me to be not be classified in limboland for a change. For him, I am Indian. And oddly enough, that made me feel quite good.

stupidities

I feel like an A-1 moron at the moment. Why? Well, I bought two bulbs, one for my bedroom and one for the bathroom tonight. I went in and the first one when I went to plug it in, lit up for half a second, scared me, and resulted in the bulb crashing on the floor and falling apart into tiny pieces. One down. Alright, so then I go to the bathroom, hoping this time it would be different. I manage to put the bulb in the socket, and think, alright, it should work now. I turn the switch on, it lights up for a second and fuses out on me!!! WHY??? I have a suspicion I cannot exactly blame the quality of the bulbs for this one. Rather, I know I did something stupid. Now if only I knew what exactly was that stupid thing. So, at the moment, I am out of two bulbs and feeling like a complete moron. If anything, this has been a ridiculously humbling experience since it forced me to realize that if I can’t even put a stupid bulb in a socket and make it function properly, I shouldn’t exactly go crazy on my ability to “CHANGE THE WORLD!” Plus, I had a good laugh, grrrrrrrrr stupid me.

Anyway on a completely different note, tomorrow I am conducting a focus group, or at least that's the plan. More importantly, will try to do it in Gujarati. Most likely it will end up being a mixture of Hindi and Gujarati together but still, I am finding that when I am forced to speak in gujarati, something or the other does come out. It's gramatically incorrect and quite broken, but am still managing to speak at times and understand others many times as well. So hurrah for that. Now I will see how tomorrow goes, but will keep you posted on that.

But, tomorrow night am going to Ahmedabad! Hurrah! Taking a few days off and going to spend the last night of Navratri there (a festival where people dance for 9 nights), so hopefully I will get a chance to see Ahmedabad's Navratri after a very long time. I am not sure how I am celebrating that night, but will also let you know about that.

In the meanwhile, it's 1.40 am right now and I am not sure if I want to sleep or keep reading on Focus group discussions and gender or just go on digg.com and kill time. Hm......

Ethics of photography

So it is Gaandhi Jayanti today and I am home all day. I have been up since 10 and it is 1 pm right now. I am still in my pjs and am feeling lethargic. I would like to go out and visit places, like the girnar mountains or the gir forest, but I want some company for it. I tell myself that I should do some work, read some articles, etc etc, but honestly, just don’t feel like it. I guess it is during such days where I can feel a little lonely. But that’s ok. I need to experience that and learn how to deal with it. In the meantime, I am watching bollywood movies. I am watching “Mera Naam joker” and really, it’s one of those lovely, classic 4 hour long movies. I am ok with that though. I enjoy it.
As I said, from my yesterday’s trip, there are a few things going on in my mind and one of the questions is regarding the ethics of photography. When I go for these field visits, I like to take a lot of pics of the people that I meet. Before taking their pics, I make sure to ask them if I can do so. So far, I have only received positive responses and people are ok with me taking their pics. And I have even posted some of them in my earlier blogs. But yesterday, when I was coming home, a man clicked my pic (without my permission) from his cellphone, and said “don’t worry I’ll delete it”, which he did. But in that moment, I felt uncomfortable not because he took my pic without my permission, but because I did not know what he would/could do with that pic. Similarly, while these people that I meet are ok with me clicking their pics, they don’t know how I plan on using them. Or perhaps they don’t care. They certainly don’t know that I can use those pics to put them up on my blog. This made me wonder, if the pic who clicked my pic went ahead and put it up on some kind of public forum without my permission, how comfortable would I feel. And I realized, I wouldn’t be too happy with that thought. Since then, I have been in two minds about what to do with the pics I am clicking. A part of me really wants to put them up and share them with you, but another part says, I have not asked the people’s permission to publicly share these pictures. Am I being too paranoid? I am not sure, but at the moment I am hesitant. Any opinions on this one? In the meantime, I can and will definitely post up my own pics.

Beauty en route

These are just a few pics en route from Kenedipur to Keshod. The entire area here is very agricultural and so I get to see a lot of greenery. Most of the fields around are peanut fields. For trees, there are many coconut and mango trees for sure. I saw something like a papaya today on a tree, but are there papaya trees??? Anyway, as you can see, these are the views that I get to see when I go on these field visits and really I think that is one of my favourite parts of the trip, breathing in that nice fresh air. That’s all for now, I’ll keep it short and sweet. Will blah on later.

Chagda!

Alright, finally home and settled in after two hours. Had my dinner (bread butter and apple), changed into pjs and checked my email. Now I can blog. Today I went to a village called Kenedipur, about 25-30 km away from Keshod. On my way there we went through car, chagda and a bus and on my way back I came by truck, bus and chagda.
Now as promised earlier, I finally managed to click some pics of what a chagda is like. As you can see, it is basically a motor cycle pulling along a lorry in which people and goods sit. 15-20 people can be stuffed in it. Some sit on the metal planks sticking out on the side, some sit on the floor of the lorry and others hang out the lorry holding on to the bar. In the pics, you can see I am sitting on one of the metal planks, holding on tight to the bar above me. It is a hell of a ride. The first time I sat in a chagda, the floor was stuffed with bags of goods, and we were sitting cross legged on top of it. But today, I sat on the metal planks the entire time (about 2 hours at a stretch, yes it took us 2 hours to cover 25-30 km). The thing about chagda is, you need to be very strategic in how you position yourself. For instance, just in 3 rides I have realized I like sitting right up in the front where I can see the driver. More importantly, where I can see the road coming up and watch out for the potholes. When I see a pothole coming up, I lift my body off the metal planks to minimize the effect of a sore bum. I also like to sit in the front, slightly tilted so that I can shift my body inwards incase I see tree branches coming up to strike me (the drivers usually ride along the side of the road, close to the trees) and also I can see if we are passing by a cow and its tail is about to whack me. Thus, I can shift my body back and forth and look out for these things. Needless to say, chagda is not exactly a mode of transportation in which you can fall asleep. Also, I realized chagda is definitely one of the best ways to see the countryside. My hair gets messy like madness (as evident from the pics), you get covered in dust when a truck passes you by, you end up with a sore bum and definitely sore legs, your hands get covered in rust holding on to the bar above so tightly, and you are usually crammed in. But, you also feel the wind in your hair, this lovely lovely fresh wind that I think you can only find here, you really get to feel the physical environment around you, undergo the experiences with all the senses, see the fresh greenery, feel the wind, hear the sounds of the roads and the people, touch the rust on the bars and smell the air (and the occasional road kill too – dogs, sometimes pigs and dead birds/lizards). Going on a chagda just gives you an entirely different but a lovely in its own way type feel for experiencing rural India. So long as you are ok with messy messy hair, and a sore body afterwards, are you up for it?? :p

there are many more things I wanted to discuss from today's trip, but am absolutely exhausted right now and my legs are killing me. But I will do a follow up on this one soon. In the meanwhile, enjoy these pics :)